A String of Bad Movies

The better part of a day, wasted. That’s how much time I’ve spent over the past couple of weeks unintentionally watching terrible movies. I say unintentionally because they should have been _good_ movies. They weren’t. This is different than watching a movie you know is awful, just to kill time while ironing or reading feeds. I do that even more frequently, but that isn’t wasting time, it’s spending time.

I’ll list the crappy ones here so you won’t suffer the same fate.

h3. Hancock


I’m pretty much done with Will Smith. Between the forgettable _I Am Legend_ and _Hancock_ there’s not much left to like. Hancock should’ve been great. Cool ideas wasted with more drama than necessary. It tried to be every movie ever made – all at once. Even the astonishingly beautiful Charlize Theron couldn’t save it.

h3. Savage Grace


Based on a true story: An awful, boring, completely uninteresting story. The movie doesn’t help.

h3. 11:14


Good enough to almost like. Clever, but ultimately it seemed like nothing more than a gimmick leading nowhere.

I think Hillary Swank should find a new agent. It was kind of nice to see Patrick Swayze again, though. And what’s with the string of severed penises lately?

h3. Smart People


New rule, if it stars Sarah Jessica Parker, avoid it. Think of Smart People as a not-pregnant Juno (yes, it’s Ellen Page) with parents just as smart and cocky as she. Except not funny. Are all smart people really assholes? All of them? The best reason to watch it is Thomas Haden Church, who I can’t get enough of.

h3. Bank Job


I have to admit not finishing this one. It was turning out to be the same heist movie we’ve seen a hundred times. Jason Statham wasn’t going to save it.