How I Got My Ass Kicked for the First Time

A story about revenge

In late elementary school I was already smaller than most of my classmates. Fortunately I was agreeable and funny enough where bigger kids didn’t bother much with me. Most of them didn’t anyway. One kid, Chucky Lee, was 2 years older than me and much bigger. Chucky was a bully. Not all the time, but once in a while he’d just feel like showing off and decide to wail on some poor little nearby kid. As often as not, that little kid was me. Chucky was, as my grandma would say, not right in the head. For example, he would steal toys from the local Creagan’s Drug Store and then show them off for just a minute or two, then smash them on the concrete. This never made any sense to me. It’s just what he’d do. One day he’d picked on me while waiting for the bus before school. I don’t remember what he did exactly, but I’d decided I’d been picked on enough and big, crazy old Chucky Lee was going to pay. As we got off the bus after school that day, Chucky stopped and knelt to tie his shoe. This was my chance! I rushed him, and as I approached I took a giant swing with my (metal) lunch box and caught him right in the knee and kept right on running. The yelp he let out was glorious! I looked back to survey the damage and to my horror he was running at me. I thought I’d totally put my ass into his cap or whatever, but he was moving like I’d never even touched him. I turned to run but he was already on top of me.

And that was how I got my ass kicked good for the very first time. He moved away shortly after that and I never had a chance to get even. Lucky for him, right?